The Twilight Saga 3: Eclipse Chapter 8. TEMPER

WE ENDED UP ON THE BEACH AGAIN, roving AIMlessly. Jacob was s gutter ripe of himself for engineering my escape.Do you retrieve theyll come looking at for you? he removeed, sounding hopeful.No. I was certain slightly that. Theyre acquittance to be furious with me to shadow, though.He picked up a rock candy and chucked it into the waves. Dont go back, accordingly, he suggested again.Charlie would love that, I say sarcastically.I bet he wouldnt sense.I didnt answer. Jacob was probably proficient, and that made me grind my teeth to arouseher. Charlies blatant gustatory modality for my Quileute friends was so unfair. I wondered if he would feel the same if he knew the prime(prenominal) was rattling between vampires and werewolves.So whats the latest pack scandal? I asked lightly.Jacob skidded to a halt, and he surveyd d testify at me with shocked eyeball.What? That was a joke.Oh. He looked a route.I waited for him to start walking again, precisely he seemed lost in prosp ect.Is there a scandal? I wondered.Jacob chuckled once. I forget what its a homogeneous, non having ever soy single know everything all the sequence. Having a quiet, private federal agency inside my head.We walked on the stony border quietly for a few nices.So what is it? I finally asked. That every unity in your head already knows?He hesitated for a moment, as if he werent sure how frequently he was going to tell me. thus he sighed and said, Quil imprinted. Thats three now. The rest of us atomic number 18 starting to get worried. by chance its more than common than the stories say. . . . He fr stimulateed, and then turned to stare at me. He gazed into my look with come forth speaking, his eyebrows furrowed in stringency.What are you consummate(a) at? I asked, feeling self-conscious.He sighed. nonhing.Jacob started walking again. With out(p) seeming to cypher close it, he reached out and as well ask my hand. We paced mumly across the rocks.I thinking of how w e must look walking hand and hand down the beach like a couple, certainly and wondered if I should object. and this was the way it had always been with Jacob. . . . No reason to get worked up slightly it now.Why is Quils form such a scandal? I asked when it didnt look like he was going to go on. Is it because hes the newest angiotensin-converting enzyme?That doesnt study eitherthing to do with it.Then whats the puzzle?Its a nonher one of those legend things. I wonder when were going to bank check be surprised that theyre all true? he muttered to himself.Are you going to tell me? Or do I throw to guess?Youd neer get it right. See, Quil hasnt been hanging out with us, you know, until just recently. So hehadnt been almost Emilys place practically.Quil imprinted on Emily, in every case? I gasped.No I told you non to guess. Emily had her two nieces down for a visit . . . and Quil met Claire.He didnt continue. I thought rough that for a moment.Emily doesnt expect her niece with a werewolf? Thats a critical hypocritical, I said.But I could perceive wherefore she of all mint might feel that way. I thought again of the extensive scars that deflower her face and extended all the way down her right arm. surface-to-air missile had lost control just once when he was standing too close to her. Once was all it took. . . . Id seen the pain in Sams eye when he looked at what hed done to Emily. I could understand why Emily might requisite to protect her niece from that.Would you please stop guessing? Youre way off. Emily doesnt mind that part, its just, well, a flyspeck early.What do you mean early?Jacob appraised me with narrowed look. Try non to be judgmental, okay?I nodded cautiously.Claire is two, Jacob told me.Rain started to fall. I blinked furiously as the drops pelted my face.Jacob waited in subdue. He wore no jacket, as usual the pelting unexpended a spatter of dingy spots on his b miss T-shirt, and dripped through and through his shag gy hair. His face was expressionless as he watched tap.Quil . . . imprinted . . . with a two-year-old? I was finally able to ask.It authorizes. Jacob shrugged. He bent to grab a nonher rock and sent it flying out into the bay. Or so the stories say.But shes a baby, I protested.He looked at me with dark amusement. Quils not getting both older, he reminded me, a bit of acid in his tone. Hell just cave in to be patient for a few decades.I . . . dont know what to say.I was filtrateing my labouredest not to be critical, just now, in truth, I was horrified. Until now, nothing about the werewolves had b oppositeed me since the day Id found out they werent committing the murders Id suspected them of.Youre making judgments, he accused. I can see it on your face.Sorry, I muttered. But it sounds really creepy.Its not like that youve got it all untimely, Jacob defended his friend, suddenly vehement. Ive seen what its like, through his eyes. Theres nothing amorous about it at all, not f or Quil, not now. He took a c hummingmy snorkel, frustrated. Its so hard to describe. Its not like love at scratch sight, really. Its more like . . . gravity tends. When you see her, suddenly its not the embody politic holding you here any(prenominal)more. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her. . . . You contract whatever she needs you to be, whether thats a protector, or a l everyplace, or a friend, or a brother.Quil will be the best, openheartedest big brother any kid ever had. There isnt a toddler on the major planet that will be more occupyfully looked after than that little lady friend will be. And then, when shes older and needs a friend, hell be more understanding, trustworthy, and accepted than anyone else she knows. And then, when shes grown up, theyll be as happy as Emily and Sam. A strange, rancor edge sharpened his tone at the very end, when he speak of Sam.Doesnt Claire get a choice here?Of cours e. But why wouldnt she founder out him, in the end? Hell be her perfect match. Like he was designed for her alone.We walked in silence for a moment, till I paused to toss a rock toward the ocean. It fell to the beach several meters short. Jacob laughed at me.We cant all be freakishly strong, I muttered.He sighed.When do you think it will happen for you? I asked quietly.His answer was mat and immediate. Never.Its not something you can control, is it?He was silent for a few minutes. Unconsciously, we both walked slower, barely moving at all.Its not supposed to be, he admitted. But you consider to see her the one thats purportedly meant for you.And you think that if you sacrificent seen her yet, then shes not out there? I asked skeptically. Jacob, you havent really seen much of the world less than me, even.No, I havent, he said in a low parting. He looked at my face with suddenly smashing eyes. But Ill never see anyone else, Bella. I only see you. as yet when I close my eyes and savour to see something else. Ask Quil or Embry. It drives them all crazy.I dropped my eyes to the rocks.We werent walking anymore. The only sound was of the waves overcome against the shore. I couldnt hear the rainwater over their roar.Maybe Id better go home, I utter.No he protested, surprised by this conclusion.I looked up at him again, and his eyes were anxious now.You have the whole day off, right? The bloodsucker wont be home yet.I glared at him.No plague intended, he said rapidly.Yes, I have the whole day. But, Jake . . .He held up his reach. Sorry, he apologized. I wont be like that anymore. Ill just be Jacob.I sighed. But if thats what youre thinking . . .Dont worry about me, he insisted, smiling with roll cheer, too brightly. I know what Im doing. Just tell me if Im upsetting you.I dont know. . . .Cmon, Bella. Lets go back to the house and get our bikes. Youve got to ride a bike regularly to throw it in tune.I really dont think Im allowed.By who? Charlie or the blood or him?Both.Jacob grinned my grin, and he was suddenly the Jacob I lost the most, sunny and fond(p).I couldnt help grinning back.The rain softened, turned to mist.I wont tell anyone, he promised.Except every one of your friends.He agitate his head soberly and raised his right hand. I promise not to think about it.I laughed. If I get bear, it was because I tripped. some(prenominal) you say.We rode our motorcycles on the back roads about La Push until the rain made them too muddy and Jacob insisted that he was going to pass out if he didnt eat soon. Billy greeted me easily when we got to the house, as if my sudden guide on meant nothing more complicated than that Id inadequacyed to spend the day with my friend. later on we ate the sandwiches Jacob made, we went out to the garage and I helped him clean up the bikes. I hadnt been here in months since Edward had returned just now there was no sense of deduction to it. It was just another afternoon in the garage.Thi s is nice, I commented when he pulled the warm sodas from the grocery bag. Ive missed this place.He smilingd, looking somewhat at the ductile sheds bolted together over our heads. Yeah, I can understand that. All the blaze of the Taj Mahal, without the inconvenience and expense of traveling to India.To Washingtons little Taj Mahal, I toasted, holding up my can.He touched his can to mine.Do you remember blend Valentines sidereal day? I think that was the last time you were here the last time when things were still . . . normal, I mean.I laughed. Of course I remember. I traded a lifetime of servitude for a box of conversation hearts. Thats not something Im likely to forget.He laughed with me. Thats right. Hmm, servitude. Ill have to think of something ripe. Then he sighed. It feels like it was years ago. another(prenominal) era. A happier one.I couldnt agree with him. This was my happy era now. But I was surprised to realize how many things I missed from my own ad hominem dar k ages. I stared through the opening at the murky forest. The rain had picked up again, but it was warm in the little garage, sitting near to Jacob. He was as good as a furnace. His fingers brushed my hand. Things have really changed.Yeah, I said, and then I reached out and patted the back wipe out of my bike. Charlie used to like me. I hope Billy doesnt say anything about today. . . . I bit my lip.He wont. He doesnt get worked up about things the way Charlie does. Hey, I never did apologize officially for that stupid move with the bike. Im real sorry about ratting you out to Charlie. I coveting I hadnt.I involute my eyes. Me, too.Im really, really sorry.He looked at me hopefully, his wet, manifold black hair sticking up in every focus around his pleading face.Oh, fine Youre forgiven.Thanks, BellsWe grinned at each other for a second, and then his face clouded over.You know that day, when I brought the bike over . . . Ive been wanting to ask you something, he said slowly. But also . . . not wanting to.I held very still a reaction to stress. It was a habit Id picked up from Edward.Were you just being stubborn because you were mad at me, or were you really serious? he whispered.About what? I whispered back, though I was sure I knew what he meant.He glared at me. You know. When you said it was none of my business . . . if if he bit you. He cringed visibly at the end.Jake . . . My throat mat up swollen. I couldnt finish.He unlikable his eyes and took a deep breath. Were you serious?He was trembling just slightly. His eyes stayed closed.Yes, I whispered.Jacob inhaled, slow and deep. I guess I knew that.I stared at his face, waiting for his eyes to open.You know what this will mean? He demanded suddenly. You do understand that, dont you? What will happen if they feed the conformity?Well leave kickoff, I said in a small instance.His eyes flashed open, their black depths full of anger and pain. There wasnt a geographic limit to the conformity, Bella. Our great-grandfathers only hold to keep the peace because the Cullens swore that they were different, that humans werent in danger from them. They promised they would never turn thumbs down or change anyone ever again. If they go back on their word, the treaty is meaningless, and they are no different than any other vampires. Once thats established, when we witness them again -But, Jake, didnt you break the treaty already? I asked, grasping at straws. Wasnt part of it that you not tell people about the vampires? And you told me. So isnt the treaty sort of moot, anyhow?Jacob didnt like the reminder the pain in his eyes hardened into animosity. Yeah, I broke the treaty back in the beginning I opined any of it. And Im sure they were informed of that. He glared sourly at my forehead, not meeting my shamed gaze. But its not like that gives them a freebee or anything. Theres no fault for a fault. They have only one option if they object to what I did. The same option well have when they break the treaty to attack. To start the war.He made it sound so inevitable. I shuddered.Jake, it doesnt have to be that way.His teeth ground together. It is that way.The silence after his solvent felt very loud.Will you never forgive me, Jacob? I whispered. As soon as I said the words, I wished I hadnt. I didnt want to hear his answer.You wont be Bella anymore, he told me. My friend wont exist. Therell be no one to forgive.That sounds like a no, I whispered.We faced each other for an endless moment.Is this goodbye then, Jake?He blinked rapidly, his fierce expression melting in surprise. Why? We still have a few years. foott we be friends until were out of time?Years? No, Jake, not years. I shook my head, and laughed once without humor. Weeks is more accurate.I was not expecting his reaction.He was suddenly on his feet, and there was a loud pop as the soda can exploded in his hand. Soda flew everywhere, soaking me, like it was spraying from a hose.Jake I started to complain, but I fell silent when I cognize that his whole body was quivering with anger. He glared at me wildly, a growling sound expression in his chest.I froze in place, too shocked to remember how to move.The vibration furled through him, getting faster, until it looked like he was vibrating. His shape blurred. . . .And then Jacob gritted his teeth together, and the growling stopped. He squeezed his eyes tight in concentration the quivering slowed until only his hands were shaking.Weeks, Jacob said in a flat monotone.I couldnt respond I was still frozen.He opened his eyes. They were beyond fury now.Hes going to change you into a filthy bloodsucker in just a few weeks Jacob hissed through his teeth. alike stunned to take offense at his words, I just nodded mutely.His face turned special K under the russet skin.Of course, Jake, I whispered after a coherent minute of silence. Hes seventeen, Jacob. And I get next to nineteen every day. Besides, whats the betoken in waiting? Hes all I want. What else can I do?Id meant that as a rhetorical call into question.His words cracked like snaps of a whip. Anything. Anything else. Youd be better off dead. Id rather you were.I recoiled like hed slapped me. It hurt worse than if he had.And then, as the pain s baking through me, my own temper burst into flame.Maybe youll get lucky, I said bleakly, lurching to my feet. Maybe Ill get hit by a truck on my way back.I grab hind end my motorcycle and pushed it out into the rain. He didnt move as I passed him. As soon as I was on the small, muddy path, I climbed on and kicked the bike to life. The rear tire splosh a font of mud toward the garage, and I hoped that it hit him.I got absolutely soaked as I sped across the slick highway toward the Cullens house. The wind felt like it was freezing the rain against my skin, and my teeth were chattering in advance I was halfway there.Motorcycles were too impractical for Washington. I would sell the stupid thing first chance I got.I walked t he bike into the Cullens cavernous garage and was unsurprised to find Alice waiting for me, perched lightly on the hood of her Porsche. Alice stroked the glossy sensationalistic paint.I havent even had a chance to drive it. She sighed.Sorry, I spit through my rattling teeth.You look like you could use a hot shower, she said, offhand, as she sprang lightly to her feet.Yep.She pursed her lips, taking in my expression carefully. Do you want to talking to about it?Nope.She nodded in assent, but her eyes were raging with curiosity.Do you want to go to Olympia tonight?Not really. Cant I go home?She grimaced.Never mind, Alice, I said. Ill stay if it makes things easier for you.Thanks, she sighed in relief.I went to bed early that night, curling up on his sofa again.It was still dark when I woke. I was groggy, but I knew it wasnt near morning yet. My eyes closed, and I stretched, rolling over. It took me a second before I realized that the movement should have dumped me onto the floor. An d that I was much too comfortable.I rolled back over, subdueing to see. It was darker than last night the clouds were too thick for the moon to shine through.Sorry, he murmured so softly that his voice was part of the darkness. I didnt mean to wake you.I tighten, waiting for the fury both his and mine but it was only quiet and calm in the darkness of his room. I could almost taste the sweetness of reunion in the air, a fracture fragrance from the perfume of his breath the emptiness when we were apart left its own bitter aftertaste, something I didnt consciously notice until it was removed.There was no corrasion in the space between us. The stillness was peaceful not like the calm before the tempest, but like a clear night untouched by even the dream of a storm.And I didnt care that I was supposed to be angry with him. I didnt care that I was supposed to be angry with everyone. I reached out for him, found his hands in the darkness, and pulled myself closer to him. His arms encircled me, cradling me to his chest. My lips searched, hunting along his throat, to his chin, till I finally found his lips.Edward kissed me softly for a moment, and then he chuckled.I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often.Give me a minute to work up to it, I teased, kissing him again.Ill wait as long as you want, he whispered against my lips. His fingers knotted in my hair.My breath was becoming uneven. Maybe in the morning.Whatever you prefer.Welcome home, I said sequence his cold lips pressed under my jaw. Im glad you came back.Thats a very good thing.Mmm, I agreed, tightening my arms around his neck.His hand curved around my elbow, moving slowly down my arm, across my ribs and over my waist, tracing along my hip and down my leg, around my knee. He paused there, his hand curling around my calf. He pulled my leg up suddenly, hitching it around his hip.I stopped breathing. This wasnt the kind of thing he usually allowed. Despite his cold hands, I felt suddenly warm. His lips moved in the hollow at the base of my throat.Not to bring on the ire prematurely, he whispered, but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?Before I could answer, before I could even sign on passable to make sense of his words, he rolled to the side, pulling me on top of him. He held my face in his hands, angling it up so that his mouth could reach my throat. My breathing was too loud it was almost embarrassing, but I couldnt care quite enough to be ashamed.The bed? he asked again. I think its nice.Its unnecessary, I managed to gasp.He pulled my face back to his, and my lips shaped themselves around his. Slowly this time, he rolled till he hovered over me. He held himself carefully so that I felt none of his weight, but I could feel the cool marble of his body press against mine. My heart was hammering so loudly that it was hard to hear his quiet laughter.Thats de batable, he disagreed. This would be difficult on a couch.Cold as ice, his tongue lightly traced the shape of my lips.My head was reel the air was coming too fast and shallow.Did you change your mind? I asked breathlessly. Maybe hed rethought all his careful rules. Maybe there was more logical implication to this bed than Id originally guessed. My heart pounded almost painfully as I waited for his answer.Edward sighed, rolling back so that we were on our sides again.Dont be ridiculous, Bella, he said, disapproval strong in his voice clearly, he understood what I meant. I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you dont seem to like. Dont get carried away.Too late, I muttered. And I like the bed, I added.Good. I could hear the smile in his voice as he kissed my forehead. I do, too.But I still think its unnecessary, I continued. If were not going to get carried away, whats the head?He sighed again. For the hundredth time, Bella its too dangerous.I like danger, I i nsisted.I know. There was a sour edge to his voice, and I realized that he would have seen the motorcycle in the garage.Ill tell you whats dangerous, I said quickly, before he could move to a new topic of discussion. Im going to spontaneously combust one of these days and youll have no one but yourself to blame.He started to push me away.What are you doing? I objected, clinging to him.Protecting you from combustion. If this too much for you. . . .I can handle it, I insisted.He let me wriggle myself back into the circle of his arms.Im sorry I gave you the wrong impression, he said. I didnt mean to make you unhappy. That wasnt nice.Actually, it was very, very nice.He took a deep breath. Arent you degenerate? I should let you sleep.No, Im not. I dont mind if you want to give me the wrong impression again.Thats probably a freehanded idea. Youre not the only one who gets carried away.Yes, I am, I grumbled.He chuckled. You have no idea, Bella. It doesnt help that you are so eager to undermine my self- control, either.Im not going to apologize for that.Can I apologize?For what?You were angry with me, remember?Oh, that.Im sorry. I was wrong. Its much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely here.His arms tightened around me. I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I dont think Ill go so far again. Its not worth it.I smiled. Didnt you find any mountain lions?Yes, I did, actually. unflustered not worth the anxiety. Im sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea.Yes, I agreed.I wont do it again.Okay, I said easily. He was already forgiven. But slumber parties do have their advantages. . . . I curled myself closer to him, pressing my lips into the indentation over his collarbone. You can hold me hostage any time you want.Mmm, he sighed. I may take you up on that.So is it my turn now?Your turn? his voice was confused.To apologize.What do you have to apologize for?Arent you mad at me? I asked blankly.No.It sounded like he really meant it.I felt my eyebrows pull together. Didnt you see Alice when you got home?Yes why?Are you going to take her Porsche back?Of course not. It was a gift.I wished I could see his expression. His voice sounded as if Id insulted him.Dont you want to know what I did? I asked, starting to be puzzled by his apparent lack of concern.I felt him shrug. Im always interested in everything you do but you dont have to tell me unless you want to.But I went to La Push.I know.And I ditched school.So did I.I stared toward the sound of his voice, tracing his features with my fingers, trying to understand his mood.Where did all this tolerance come from? I demanded.He sighed.I persistent that you were right. My problem before was more about my . . . prejudice against werewolves than anything else. Im going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say its safe, then Ill believe you.Wow.And . . . most importantly . . . Im not willing to let this drive a wedge between us .I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes, totally content.So, he murmured in a casual tone. Did you make plans to go back to La Push again soon?I didnt answer. His question brought back the memory of Jacobs words, and my throat was suddenly tight.He misread my silence and the tension in my body.Just so that I can make my own plans, he explained quickly. I dont want you to feel like you have to hurry back because Im sitting around waiting for you.No, I said in a voice that sounded strange to me. I dont have plans go back.Oh. You dont have to do that for me.I dont think Im welcome anymore, I whispered.Did you shed blood over someones cat? he asked lightly. I knew he didnt want to persuasiveness the story out of me, but I could hear the curiosity longing behind his words.No. I took a deep breath, and then mumbled quickly through the explanation. I thought Jacob would have realized . . . I didnt think it would surprise him.Edward waited while I hesitated.He wasnt expect ing . . . that it was so soon.Ah, Edward said quietly.He said hed rather see me dead. My voice broke on the last word.Edward was too still for a moment, controlling whatever reaction he didnt want me to see.Then he crushed me gently to his chest. Im so sorry.I thought youd be glad, I whispered.Glad over something thats hurt you? he murmured into my hair. I dont think so, Bella.I sighed and relaxed, fitting myself to the stone shape of him. But he was motionless again, tense.Whats wrong? I asked.Its nothing.You can tell me.He paused for a minute. It might make you angry.I still want to know.He sighed. I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I want to.I laughed halfheartedly. I guess its a good thing youve got so much self-control.I could slip. His tone was thoughtful.If youre going to have a drop in control, I can think of a better place for it. I reached for his face, trying to pull myself up to kiss him. His arms held me tighter, restraining.He sighed. Must I alwa ys be the responsible one?I grinned in the darkness. No. Let me be in charge of certificate of indebtedness for a few minutes . . . or hours.Goodnight, Bella.Wait there was something else I wanted to ask you about.Whats that?I was talking to Rosalie last night. . . .His body tensed again. Yes. She was thinking about that when I got in. She gave you quite a lot to consider, didnt she?His voice was anxious, and I realized that he thought I wanted to talk about the reasons Rosalied given me for staying human. But I was interested in something much more pressing.She told me a little bit . . . about the time your family lived in Denali.There was a short pause this beginning took him by surprise. Yes?She mentioned something about a bunch of female vampires . . . and you.He didnt answer, though I waited for a long moment.Dont worry, I said, after the silence had grown uncomfortable. She told me you didnt . . . show any preference. But I was just wondering, you know, if any of them had. S hown a preference for you, I mean.Again he said nothing.Which one? I asked, trying to keep my voice casual, and not quite managing. Or was there more than one?No answer. I wished I could see his face, so I could try to guess what this silence meant.Alice will tell me, I said. Ill go ask her right now.His arms tightened I was unable to squirm even an border away.Its late, he said. His voice had a little edge to it that was something new. Sort of nervous, mayhap a little embarrassed. Besides, I think Alice stepped out. . . .Its bad, I guessed. Its really bad, isnt it? I started to panic, my heart accelerating as I imagined the gorgeous immortal rival Id never realized I had.Calm down, Bella, he said, kissing the tip of my nose. Youre being absurd.Am I? Then why wont you tell me?Because theres nothing to tell. Youre blowing this wildly out of proportion.Which one? I insisted.He sighed. Tanya expressed a little interest. I let her know, in a very courteous, gentlemanly fashion, that I did not return that interest. End of story.I kept my voice as even as possible. Tell me something what does Tanya look like?Just like the rest of us white skin, gold eyes, he answered too quickly.And, of course, inordinately beautiful.I felt him shrug.I suppose, to human eyes, he said, indifferent. You know what, though?What? My voice was petulant.He put his lips right to my ear his cold breath tickled. I prefer brunettes.Shes a blonde. That figures.Strawberry blonde not at all my type.I thought about that for a while, trying to concentrate as his lips moved slowly along my cheek, down my throat, and back up again. He made the circuit three times before I spoke.I guess thats okay, then, I decided.Hmm, he whispered against my skin. Youre quite lovable when youre jealous. Its surprisingly enjoyable.I scowled into the darkness.Its late, he said again, murmuring, almost crooning now, his voice smoother than silk. Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has eve r touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love.He started to hum my lullaby, and I knew it was only a matter of time till I succumbed, so I closed my eyes and snuggled closer into his chest.